After researching the Millennial generation and iGenz, I began receiving a few questions from parents and educators about young men. Parents felt concern that their young men were performing poorly in school and some educators didn’t understand why their material didn’t connect with young men. Initially, these concerns seemed to reflect the idiom of girls mature faster than boys, but data began to show concerns with young men and the implications. To help parents, I wrote a short and free guide on a few suggestions that will help sons succeed.
This depends on who you ask. Some of what we observe with young men reflects the old idiom – girls mature faster than boys – and I heard this from an older person who grew up in the early 1900s, so this idiom has been around for at least 100 years. Some of what we observe may reflect a poor understanding of what some cultures expect boys to know. For an example, some cultures expect young men to initiate relationships (including romantic), therefore these boys in these cultures need to learn social skills early in life. They also need to learn related social skills to social initiation. Most schools in these cultures do not teach this. In a sense, some of the perceived failure is a disconnect in what is expected of boys and what boys are actually learning.
In addition, the below information may be of interest to some readers:
These measure success in terms of educational achievement, which one may challenge. My own research showed that the median Millennial female made 6-8% more than the median Millennial male (while using ceteris paribus variable measurements). Overall young women are doing well – and I expect this to continue.
Outside of my short guide, other authors have written about young men struggling with some of these books offering suggestions. When I’ve mentioned some of the below books to parents, they’ve expressed concerns, one of which is that the books don’t offer them useful suggestions about what to teach their sons.
Still, if parents want to seek further research on the topic, I highly recommend the above books.
Before reading this guide, be sure that:
. If you see anything listed in this guide that is forbidden in your jurisdiction, skip it. For example, some jurisdictions may not allow you to learn other languages, so you can skip this section. If you see a section that is not allowed in your jurisdiction, skip it and move on to the next piece of actionable information. Also, if anything is required or recommended before an activity – such as seeking medical approval before starting a physical activity – get the recommended or required help. If your son is struggling, always start with medical and psychological help, as hormonal issues, or medical issues cannot be solved by mastering skills or learning valuable information.
The short guide addresses some of the following concerns that parents of boys have:
I wrote this short guide to help parents with some actionable recommendations for raising boys. The guide is free and available in multiple languages and most parents will be able to read the guide in less than three hours. My hope is that most parents can find several suggestions useful for their sons. This guide only gives parents some insights into useful skills their sons can use – how parents implement that or find that is up to them. As a parent, you have insight into how your son learns and the feedback you receive from him, so you’ll know how he can learn the recommendations.
While I appreciate the offer, if you want to help, send this guide to any parent who’s been searching for help with their son. You can also make a huge impact on your community by sponsoring scholarships for low income young men in educational or health opportunities before college, like paying for low income kids to attend a self-defense class or learn a language. Finally, there are foundations that help men, such as the Movember foundation.
Below are some popular questions I’ve been asked related to the topics in the guide.
I live in a rural area with few options for my children. How can I do some of the suggestions considering the limited options?
Rural environments offer more challenges to parents than urban environments because of what you mention – few options in the area. The advantage a rural environment carries is skill concentration: some of the most talented people in the world in respective fields are from smaller environments where few distractions exist. As you determine your child’s passions and talents, help your child concentrate on these skills. Also consider:
We are a low income family with few resources for education and our public schools do not offer many opportunities for our children. Are there ways to get access to private schools in our area?
This heavily varies by jurisdiction and the above books that I link to, such as Why Boys Fail, do a better job in this discussion. You may find scholarships at local private schools, though this isn’t a guarantee and the jurisdiction matters. Also, some public schools offer magnet programs, so these may be available in your area.
What are some examples of non-seasonal physical activities my child can do?
Here are some examples of activites that can be done anytime during the year and numerous other activities exist. Aim around your child’s interest level when considering activities:
Tae Kwon Do and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu:
CrossFit and Power Lifting:
Gymnastics and Bodybuilding:
Running and swimming:
While many of the above videos contrast these disciplines, they all carrya advantages and disadvantages and some children will gravitate to some and avoid others. All of them can be done throughout the year. Sports, like football, baseball, etc, can be great for your child, but they are seasonal.